heykarli:

My friends mom is 4’9 and her dad is 6’5. Whenever she is mad at him, she grabs a chair to yell in his face. Everytime that happens, he’s laughing too hard for her to stay mad. They say it’s the only way they’ve been married for so long.

(via brunettesnburnetts)

1 hour ago
176,337 notes

coffeepeople:

There are two types of single people 

  1. desperately wants to be in a relationship
  2. desperately wants to remain single for as long as possible 

I am both.

(via shelphillips)

1 day ago
174,771 notes
pizzaboats:

THEY LOOK SO PROUD!!! LOOK AT OUR bABIES! WE MADE THESE!!! LOOK AT HOW CUTE THEY ARE!! HAVE U MET OUR BABIES YET LOOK AT THEM!! BABY DOGGIES!!! THAT WE MADE!!!

pizzaboats:

THEY LOOK SO PROUD!!! LOOK AT OUR bABIES! WE MADE THESE!!! LOOK AT HOW CUTE THEY ARE!! HAVE U MET OUR BABIES YET LOOK AT THEM!! BABY DOGGIES!!! THAT WE MADE!!!

(Source: stinkyqueef, via heavensclosed)

1 day ago
575,434 notes
Feeling beautiful has nothing to do with what you look like. I promise.
lesbianvenom:

seventeen magazine has officially lost it

lesbianvenom:

seventeen magazine has officially lost it

(via hdarnell)

3 days ago
95,744 notes
I loved you more than you deserved, fucker.
You Didn’t Deserve a Thing (#81: January 19, 2014)

(Source: write2014, via hdarnell)

3 days ago
181,850 notes
Nineteen things I’ve learned before I turned nineteen.
1. Always carry $5 and a lighter with you (even if you don’t smoke).
2. Ask every person you meet how their day is going. Genuinely ask with the soul intention of learning how their day is. Ask the coffee shop employee. Ask the person next to you in line at Walmart. Ask your distant friend. Ask everyone.
3. Take many photos of yourself. Take photos of yourself when you’re happy. Take photos of yourself when you’re sad. Take photos of yourself because there are millions of trees in the world, and we all look at the same sky, but there is only one of you.
4. Stay in contact with your parents. Try not to hate them. They are the reason you have the ability to feel anything at all. Try not to hate your parents.
5. Opening your skin will not set your demons free. Open your heart. Open your mind. Open your hands.
6. Nobody knows anybody completely. That’s okay.
7. Be gentle, but be aggressive. Take a stand. Nobody hears your voice if you stay silent.
8. Respect everybody. We are all humans trying to survive. We all deserve respect.
9. Wearing black will ALWAYS make you feel better about yourself.
10. Always give tips, whether it be a couple extra dollars or a piece of mind. You never know how much you could be helping someone.
11. Change is the only thing consistent in life. Do not allow that bother you. Embrace chance and move with life, whichever direction it chooses to take you.
12. Smile often. Smile at strangers. Smile at your friends. Smile when nobody is looking and you’re alone in your bedroom. Smile when somebody is rambling to you.
13. Body image means nothing. Your body is merely just a seatbelt in the car. Your body is here to protect you. You choose the direction you go, and your body will not hold you back. Only you can hold yourself back.
14. Don’t hold grudges. Don’t allow yourself to hate anybody. Forgive them. Learn to love them for the person you never got to see them to be. Believe that a beautiful human exists in that person. Wish them well.
15. Drink orange juice. Lot’s of it.
16. Don’t allow the opinions of others to choose your destiny. We are all simply trying to live our own life.
17. Sing all the time. Sing off key. Sing in a silly voice. Sing like you’re on stage. Sing no matter who is around. Singing is breathing for the soul. Sing.
18. Take time to think. Write your feelings down. Write letters to the people you love. Texting is overrated and not as heartfelt as a nice handwritten letter.
19. Live for yourself. Breathe for yourself. Do everything in your life for nobody but you. This is your life. This is it.
nosdrinker:

this is the teacher from the incredibles

nosdrinker:

this is the teacher from the incredibles

(Source: yimmyayo, via aychase)

1 day ago
97,022 notes

dutchster:

i accidentally spilled monster energy drink in my fish bowl and now my goldfish won’t stop saying “bro” and keeps flexing it’s fins

(via afreckledface)

1 day ago
91,145 notes
I just want somebody who will never stop choosing me.
I think she’s special. She doesn’t need anyone. Like that’s the thing. Even if we were together, she wouldn’t really belong to me. She doesn’t belong to anything. She’s off in her own world…
Childish Gambino (via wrekingball)

This is my favorite thing ever

(Source: thestyledjungle, via pride-and-pity)

2 days ago
141,728 notes
I hope there are days when you fall in love with being alive.

Cake Boss in a nutshell…

barebackbearyak:

Customer: I want a nice chocolate cake for my young son, and he likes trucks, so could you maybe do a little frosting picture of a truck on the top?

Cake Boss: SOS WHAT WES GUNNA DO IS MAKE A GIANT TRUCK ENTIRELY OUTTA RICE CRISPIES AND COVA DAT IN FONDANT AND IZ GUNNA SHOOT SPARKS AND CATCH FIYAH, POSSIBLY KILLIN YOUR SON IN DA PROCESS.

(via thedropsofjupiterr)

3 days ago
93,525 notes